Round Trip USA

Ok, I lied about the Big Texan being the only touristy kitsch thing to see in Amarillo, Texas. I forgot about Cadillac Ranch!

Even though it’s a tacky piece of “art,” I’d still recommend a visit if you’ve got a car and a few minutes to spare. It’s free to visit and if you’ve never tagged something ugly with something even uglier, then here’s your chance!

Be aware that the ranch has moved about 1 mile away from it’s original site and locals might give you directions to the old location. No worries though, because once you get to the old site, you’ll see a helium factory where they’ll give you proper directions to the new site. Follow their directions instead of your own perceptions of what might be a quicker route, because there are one way streets in this middle-of-nowhere industrial / farm area. Go figure.

Normally I wouldn’t stop at a helium factory for directions, but I had read that the Cadillac Ranch was created by a millionare who made his fortune selling helium. I figured the people at the factory would know about their boss’ weird art. We drove the car towards a group of men at the factory and before we said anything, one of the guys said “Cadillac Ranch?” and gave us quick and simple directions on how to get there. They get a lot of lost tourists their way.

There are a few stories floating around about what the Cadillac Ranch symbolizes. One says that it’s meant to represent the richness of America where expensive Cadillacs are a dime a dozen and can be buried in the ground as art. Another says that the Cadillacs represent the evolution of the car industry since each subsequent car in the line-up is a newer model of the one before it. Finally, the last story just says that the millionare who owns the property and the factory in the area is eccentric and that’s reason enough.

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Tips for Travellers to Cadillac Ranch

1. As mentioned above, the ranch has moved so if you find yourself in the wrong area ask the guys at the helium factory for directions.
2. You can bring your own cans of spray paint, but if you only want to write a word or two you can find some cans on site with some leftover paint to use.
3. Wear closed shoes (no flip-flops) — preferably with no traction. The area is super muddy and we ended up taking about a half hour just to scrape everything out of our soles.

I shrunk!

Morten originally didn’t want to bother stopping in Texas because he had heard that it was just cattle country without much going on. When I was at Surfers Paradise (Australia), I got to talking with a woman who moved to Queensland from Texas and made the food sound so good. I wanted to go to Texas just to try some of the traditional grub! Cattle country = good steak, right?

Well, it turns out both Morten and I were wrong.  Texas was a lot of fun (we ended up staying for three days) but the food wasn’t as good as I thought it would be — not bad, but not great.

The Big Texan

The one tourist attraction in Amarillo (our first stop in Texas) is the Big Texan restaurant. Why? Because it’s home to the famous 72 oz steak — free if you can eat it with a giant shrimp cocktail, roll with butter, salad, and baked potato in under one hour, or $72 if you can’t. How big is a 72 oz steak? Well, you’re only supposed to eat as much meat as the size of your fist. The 72 oz steak is roughly six or  seven times the size of my fist, or the size of a small cat.

We decided we couldn’t eat that much so we ordered a regular steak for two, and a chicken fried steak to share between the three of us. With each order, you get two sides so we picked: fried okra (a very bland green vegetable), beef steak tomatoes with raw red onions, coleslaw, steak fries, mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese. Needless to say, it was still too much food. We didn’t bother to pack up the leftovers because most of it consisted of the chicken fried steak which tasted cheap (imagine a fast food copy cat of McNuggets in a larger form made with mashed beef that doesn’t taste like beef).

The 72 oz steak at the Big Texan

If you order a steak at the Big Texan, always order it one step rarer than you would normally order (ex. if you like your steak medium rare, order it rare). They warn you on the menu that due to their cooking methods, their steaks always come out drier and more well-done than other restaurants.

I wouldn’t recommend the place for the food, but I do think it’s worth a stop if you’re in the area just to feel like you’re living in a world of giants. You’ll find just about everything in giant form: money, cow, cowboy boot, chair, rice crispy square, Hershey bar, cake, steak, etc.

Oh, but if you’re a vegetarian or animal rights activist, steer clear of the place. It’s a steak house and every wall is covered with the work of taxidermists: elk, deer, moose, beaver, boar, bear… anything furry and formerly wild.

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